But today's vent is about my sister-in-law. I love her. She married my brother many years ago and they have children who are similar in age to my three youngest children. We have been very close over the years. A couple of years ago, however, she was pregnant and ended up with some very severe depression (not for the first time.) When she gets depressed, her self-esteem plummets, and she becomes extremely sensitive. She became angry at many problems in our extended family (none of which are major problems, just differences in how families relate) and stopped returning my calls, stopped having any kind of relationship with me. It was like a different person came into her body. Once her baby was born and she was back on an anti-depressant, we had a long talk and laid everything out on the table. We have been closer than ever since then.
Until now.
She's pregnant again, and of course is off her anti-depressant. She has handled this challenge very well, even through extreme circumstances. We have spent much time together and talked very frankly about her challenges. Then on a family trip, she changed completely. She shut down and would no longer have any communication with me. For the last month, I have called her consistently with little or no response. I have offered to take her children. I have made her dinner. I babysat her children. I have had creative fun art time with them. She has given me the cold shoulder. I KNOW she's depressed. I understand this. I have tried to be understanding. But she emailed me today and truly hurt me.
That's ok. I can handle it. I'm going to roll with this and try to respond with love and support. It will all work itself out, as long as I keep negative emotions out of it. Well, as much as possible, anyway. Enduring...breathing...surviving...
I HATE DEPRESSION.
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